If only i had a chance to make things better
For they aren’t any fair now, never
Oh, i could build cities n’ kingdoms
None too many to eradicate our ambits
Love and plenty in each and every
Young and alike, no more foreboding
I have tried, and i will so on,
Had i had a say, in his divine play,
Augmented on this reality of our tale,
Dancing, merry, and a concord, yet faraway.
A wisdom, stark, and on my face.
Crimson, and raw the dusk sets
Higher powers in its play
Anger, Age, and no other humanly in the fray
Nigh, the time draws, so slow and soft
Creeping unto mortality, bare, and bitten
Elegies and sobs, and an old violin say
Together and only thus, a song is sung
Of erased pasts and a united dominion.
Make a wish, and whistle into the air,
And listen, listen close, she’ll say,
Kings and commanders have come this way,
Enduring what i have bequeathed.
The days that were, and those that will be,
Hurdles that there were, and those that are,
Incepting the fact, of pervert men and sinful too,
Notwithstanding a force this strong,
Gore and death that followed, a bout of blasphemy
Sans a box, to put these sins back in,
Beloved and all, see it and sing, a song of accord,
Edge it out of your lives, the sorrow and ire,
Transcend beyond, for we aren’t meant this way,
To a happy life, and no qualms or despair,
Enervate that greed, and do it now,
Reality will not last for another epoch.
Thursday Poets Rally Week 34 (December 2-8) | Jingle
Agreement 4 Thursday Poets Rally Week 34 Participants | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
Is this something like an acrostic?
Well written.
yeah i guess thank you! :O
I break the rule to take this one in,
if only I have a chance to make things better,
love it.
well done.
Nice piece.. potent, artistic..the poetic dexterity in you shows.. liked it
Regards~ Sayandeep
Thank you!
I love your creativity with the first line going down the poem’s line, most people are not able to execute it well without it sound forced, but this is a delightful job.
I also enjoy the heavier feel behind the obvious small problems the nameless character has:
“build cities nā kingdoms”
“Had i had a say, in his divine play”
“Reality will not last for another epoch.”
Gives the poem a much deeper feeling.
-Bk
Thank you very much for the patience and appreciation! š
Wonderful my friend…
This is an excellent poetry š
great flow, great rhythm…
thanks! š
Creative cute and superb piece.
Loved reading it.
thankyou!
very good work, nice flow to it
very beautifully written. liked the acrostic fashion too, Jargnar!
Here is my Rally Poem
thankyou!:)
Nice read. Very creative as well. Hmmm, if I could create a kingdom what would it be…..
š
You had me from the start.
“…If only i had a chance to make things better
For they arenāt any fair now, never…”.
Thank you š
an amazing write… beautifully penned.
you can still make things better. š
Festive Poetry From Fabulous Poets (Highlight of Poets Rally Week 34) | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
your words are powerful… the energy behind them
i nominated you for week35 poets award š
Oh thank you very very much š
Honored!
The Celebrate Blogger of 2010 Awards Nomination Announcement | Jingle
You’ve done a great job with this acrostic. I enjoyed it.
this is super… š
The acrostic element is like an elemental whisper in the wings! It barely seems to control the lovely series of ideas in the poem. Especially loved “Sans a box, to put these sins back in,” I am sure that Pandora’s Box enjoys a mention! Great poem!
Hey! Thank you š
Super.You did notice the Pandora’s Box mention!
Brilliant.
Thankyou.
wow, that is an incredibly complex acrostic, brilliantly done
That is really a great acrostic. Very creative.
thanks!
“If only I had a chance to make things better”..really wonderful acrostic.
CAN YOU JOIN US IN AND SUBMIT YOUR LINK???
http://umaspoembook.blogspot.com/2011/01/experimenting-with-poetry-forms_16.html
sure š
I NOMINATE YOU FOR
The Versatile Blogger Award
I am honored but I feel you are more deserving than I based on the way you paint
with words and write with hues of color.